Now, when I say I did it right, that really means I learned later on that what some moms had problems with, I didn't. Like showering, sleeping, and getting some time to themselves to, say, drink a cup of coffee. Remember, I am NOT perfect, and there are many things I had to get help with, like getting her to sleep in her own crib, in her own room and not IN the bed with us (it was driving me crazy and I needed sleep, which I wasn't getting). But, some things I love that I just did that really worked out well.
One really great thing is that I always brought my daughter in the bathroom with me when I showered. I put her in the bassinet that came with her pack-n-play (it detaches and sits on the floor AND has a buckle to hold her in AND a cover to block the light a little) and took a shower. I would check on her every few minutes (or seconds in the beginning) and she would just hang out while I showered. Sometimes she would nap, other times she would play with some toys I gave her, and she got used to hanging out while mommy took a shower. And guess what. We still do it. We now use a chair thing (that also has a strap) and once she hears the water running, she knows what is happening. I can usually get anywhere from 30-60 minutes before she starts getting upset, and usually that is while I'm getting dressed or doing my hair/makeup. No, it is not at the same time every day, or even every day, but it is a small routine that we have worked out that I can use whenever I need to.
Routine. That is one word you will hear over and over when it comes to parenting advice. But, that may not be what you think it is, AND it is different for everyone. Some people work great with the same routine every day. Some kids can to very good with them. Great. That does not meat that everyone has to wake up at 6 am, have a bottle at 630, play on mat at 7, nap at 8, bottle at 9...... etc. My shower routine is just that. A small routine we use every time mommy needs to shower. We never had a set feeding or nap schedule, I just went by my daughters ques. And guess what. She learned to sleep anywhere. On the couch at a playdate while I chatted with the moms. In the car. At target. It made it possible for me to get out. What was the routine? Her paci and a blanket. She only got them at nap and bedtime, so the second she got them she settled down and closed her eyes.
The car. Another problem I hear from a lot of moms. Their child hates the car and carseat. My daughter hates going in her seat (being restrained, lol) now, but once shes in, she's fine for however long we are in for. 10, 20, 90 minutes.......4 hours...... We have taken her on so many car rides to visit family and do things we want to do that she has learned to entertain herself in the car, though usually she just sleeps most of the time. Take your baby out!!! To restaurants, on car rides, on trips. Don't feel that you can't because it is harder than it used to be. Getting them used to these things will make it that much easier for ALL of you. She is GREAT when we go out to eat because we TAKE her out to eat. We do not have anyone near us to help out all the time, so if we want a date night, we have a family date night. Her first time out was at 2 weeks old. She stayed in her carseat, in the booth, by the wall and slept. No one touched her, a few people said how cute she was and we had dinner and a drink. It can be the little things that make this whole experience more fun.
A last thing I want to say I am SO happy I did was sleep training. We held off on it until after we moved because it seemed silly to us to do it while we were still in a 1 bedroom apartment and she was in our room, but once she got used to her room and crib, we decided it was time to get our bed back. There are different ways of doing it, but we decided to go with the Ferber method. We researched it, weighed the pros and cons, and decided to give it a go. Yes, it gets a bad wrap and was even nicknamed the "cry it out" method, and it may not be for you, but it made all the difference to us. We chose a simple bedtime routine. Nurse, paci, shusher (a sound machine that makes a 'shhh' sound that someone told me about bc she loves when we do that). 3 days. That is what it took for our daughter who would NOT sleep through the night without getting in our bed by 1 am, was putting herself to sleep without a tear in 3 days. It was emotional, but she was never alone crying or calling out for us for more than a few minutes and we watched her on the monitor the whole time. We prepared every night with a bottle of wine, and usually by the 4th or 5th time we went in, she was asleep. If you know the method, that is usually about 30 minutes or less. It has been about 2 months now, and every nap and bedtime she WANTS to go into her crib and go to sleep. It is beautifully bittersweet.
SO, my advice? Do what works for you and live your life. Maybe you have a new partner in crime that can help you spend more money at Target, share your lunch at Panera, or give you an excuse to have a mimosa at breakfast. No other mom will judge you, we've all been there. Do what you need to do to keep yourself while taking care of this new love that will soon enough be just like you. And that is great. Stick to the routines that are easy and work, and change what needs to in order to be where you want. And ask for help. We are all here to support each other and I GUARANTEE that more people than you think have been where you are.
Goodnight, and Good luck!! ;)
