The Bad Days and The Best Days Ever

These are the best days of our lives. Even when they won't stop crying. When you can't stop crying (damn hormones). When it is the 10th time you have had to do laundry this week. When you are so tired that you can't wait for these days to end. Stop. Breathe. Stare. Just stare. Hold onto the moment. Before you know it they will be gone. The days and months to come will be amazing, but you're going to miss this. Don't believe me? Read this again in a couple of weeks.

Everyone says the first few weeks are hard. Physically they were, but I still loved holding her. They were easy compared to what came next. It is always easy when they sleep. When they wake up and they cry and you feed them and change them and burp them and hold them and they still cry..... that's what is hard. When your heart breaks because you do not know what they want, or what is wrong. You try everything for gas and colic and it seems to help and you all finally get some sleep. They good news is this will pass. It may be a growing week or they are just tired (yes, they cry over that too), or in our case it could be a lip tie.

A lip tie? Yes. This is apparently something that is known, but not looked for. Many children have it and it is not something that is worried about. After I heard about it and researched it (and saw she had it), we called the pediatrician and they told us not to worry, it will tear on it's own. On it's own? Yes. By the age of 2, usually, they will fall and hit their mouth and it will tear and bleed. Then they will be fine and it will be over. OK. But, what about the problems it is causing now. The pain while breastfeeding, the clicking while eating (which is apparently her sucking in air), the puking all the time, the gas EVERY night. The future orthodontic issues it can cause. Why wait if we can solve this problem now? Well, because there is no proof that taking care of it now will improve any of these problems. No proof? But, what if it does?

That is what it came down to for us. A trip to the ENT and a decision to take a chance, To help our baby girl if we can. And the hardest moment of my life. Holding my 6 week old down while they take scissors to her mouth. I closed my eyes. Turned my head. They gave her sugar water (aka baby heroin) and done. Some cries. A lot of blood. And right to the boob (they said it helps the blood stop and calm her down. It did.). No clicking. At least we know one thing is an improvement.

The next days are not easy either. We have to rub out finger over the wound before each feeding to make sure it does not re-attach. It clearly bothers her during feedings. She wants her paci all the time. It seems to help with the pain and comfort her? Is that ok? who cares.. But, as the days go by, we see improvement. We do not scream with gas pains every night. This does not mean we never have gas, but not for hours every night. The normal burps we now get that have less or no puke with them. We sleep longer and fall asleep faster. And best of all, we have an aware week.

Nothing to do with anything else, but when it happens, everything else disappears. When you smile and they smile back. When they play and wave their arms and legs and coo. They cutest sound you have ever heard. You stare into their eyes and they stare back. And all you feel is love. Pure love. These are the best days ever!!

I Wish I Knew.... Newborns 101

There are many things that I knew about Newborns that most people don't. I have worked with them for 15 years as a photographer in daycare centers. You hear things, see things, learn things. Talk to teachers and parents who tell you things and show you things that you never even knew to ask about or look at. I will share some things I knew and learned since that may be interesting, or even helpful.

Like, for starters, did you know that newborns do not have bottom eyelashes? They won't for the first month, maybe longer. And they have skin flaps in their noses that they use to close to keep stuff out because they do not have nose hair. I found it odd that some family members that came to visit didn't know this. And they have kids. Maybe they forgot?

Babies hands get cold. It does not mean that they are cold. Blood flow to their hands and feet is slow in the beginning and gets better in time. Usually a few months. So, when they wake up and they are in a full length, long sleeve onsie and a long sleeve blanket sleeper and the house is set to 68 degrees (which is ideal for newborns and infants, did you know that?), yet their hands are ice cold.... it is normal. You are not doing anything wrong and they are not cold. You are doing great mom, keep it up. And do not put hats or gloves on them while they are sleeping. They can suffocate themselves and it is not necessary. They actually release heat through their heads so it help them regulate their body temperature and reduce a risk of SIDS.

Babies move and make noise while they sleep. This, I did not know. It kept me awake and I kept checking on her. They will suddenly straighten out their arms and legs and make a little noise. I called her spastic, but apparently it is normal. And a good sign that they can hear and are aware of their new surroundings. They are not awake, or waking up. And it may take some getting used to, especially if they sleep in the same room as you, but you will soon be able to block it out. Don't worry, when they wake up, you will wake up. They will make sure of it.

You cannot overfeed a baby. They eat when they want and how much they want. When their stomach is full, they will spit up. If they spit up a lot, they may actually want a little more. But, they will not eat more than they can take. So even if your LO is having more than anyone says they "should", don't worry about it and feed them what they want. They are growing, and fast. They may need more, or less, during a growth spurt and then change again. There is no exact amount for every baby.

Baby poop from EBF babies looks like diarrhea. All the time. It is very liquidy and somewhere between yellow and brown. It is supposed to look like seeded mustard, but doesn't always. Especially if you occasionally supplement with formula (like we do as I try to build up my supply for my ever growing and feeding baby). They are not sick and do not have an upset tummy. If they are formula fed, it may look thicker, and smell more. Apparently EBF babies have better smelling poop. Sorry, lol.

Babies, especially EBF babies get calluses on their lips. They may be more predominant right after a feeding. They will look like white bumps on their lips. Sometimes their entire top, bottom, or both lips will look completely white. This is normal, and good. It help them to latch and keep a good latch while feeding. It will go away on it's own, in time.

Babies will shed their skin. Well, everyone does. You do more regularly that you realize. As they grow, it will peel and flake off. Give them a bath once or twice a week, even up to three if you feel you need to. Use warm water and a little bit of mild soap, but don't scrub. Let it fall off in it's own time. It is not good to rush the process, it can cause skin irritation. You will see it most around 3-4 weeks. They may also get a significant amount of baby acne at this time as well. It is completely normal (so if you plan on taking newborn photos, you should make sure to get them done before this time, otherwise you may have to wait until they are over a month old.... a little late for newborn photos).

Newborns have stuffy noses. Since they breathe trough their noses, you may hear it often. Especially when they sleep. A humidifier in their room will help to clear it out. You will also hear them sneeze often. It is normal and good, not a sign of a cold or allergies. Try to keep an eye out for boogies in the nose. They may need your help getting them out sometimes. Especially the big ones.

Tummy time can be started after the belly button falls out. This is also when you can give the first bath. This usually happens at about 2 weeks. If it happens earlier, check with your pediatrician before starting both of these things. In my case, hers fell out at 5 days, but was still oozing and bleeding a little. We had to clean it twice a day with alcohol to keep it clean and help it dry out. At our 2 week pediatrician appointment, we got the ok to go ahead. Now, "tummy time" at this age does not mean put them directly on the floor and see how they do. And it does NOT mean take your eyes off them for any length of time. It is more of an assisted tummy time. You can put them on your chest and make sure their head is either up or to the side at all times. It helps a little if you put their hands together, though this will also probably lead to them sucking on their hands. As long as their face is not buried in your chest and you can see their nose and mouth at all times, you can do this as long as they will let you (meaning until they cry or cannot hold their head up any longer), usually about 2-5 minutes. You can also use a Boppy pillow, if you have one, but be extra careful, as they can suffocate in the pillow if they slide down too far or put their face down on the pillow. You also have to make sure that they are flat with their legs out and not in a "sitting" position. Until they are about 3 months old and can hold their head up by themselves, NEVER leave them unattended for a SECOND during tummy time. Even then, it is not a good idea. This may make you nervous to start tummy time, but don't be. Just be attentive. Tummy time is good for babies. It helps strengthen their head and neck muscles (which is good for when they sleep and need to move their head, like when they spit up, and help them roll over and be able to pick up their head when they roll over) and it also helps to prevent flat head (which happens when they spend too much time in things like a swing, rocker, car seat or anything else that is angled that they spend a lot of time in).

Don't worry Mama (Dad, Grandma, Grandpa or anyone else reading this)! You are doing great. Learn things you didn't know? Even better! I am just trying to help make things easier for you. Any more tips or advice? Questions? Leave it below!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

The first week, or even two, after giving birth is a blur of crying (both of  us), cuddles (the best part), and pain. So much pain. But it will subside, even if it is torture and feels like it will never end. When you wonder if it was worth it, but then you look at the beautiful face and wonder how you could even think such a thing..... and then more pain, and new pain, and wondering what will hurt next and when it will all stop pain. And everyone will tell you give it two weeks. That it will get better, That you, too, will forget this. That each day will get better. And it will be the longest two weeks of your life.

But, you look for advice. Help from people who remember how they made it through. Even if it is only one thing from each of them. Every one thing helps, or doesn't, so you try something else and that works. What worked for me may not be what works for you, but it is a place to start when you don't know where to turn. Some for you, some for your new little one (LO), but all made a world of difference for me.

1. Dermoplast. Why did I not know about this earlier? It is a spray that cools and numbs the whole area. Helps with pain and feels great when putting on. The down side? It is hard to find. It also does not kick in right away, but what does? There are a few different ones, so make sure you get the blue one, hospital strength pain relieving  spray. It can be found in some pharmacies, but Amazon is the easiest. Order it before to prepare. Luckily I only needed one, but they are cheap so you can order more if you'd like.

2. Depends Silhouette. I bought them because I read online that a lot of people did not like what they got at the hospital to wear after birth for bleeding because they were uncomfortable. I wanted to be prepared, but the mesh hospital briefs were very soft and quite comfortable and very easy on my stomach (which was still large after birth so anything tight sucked), so I really enjoyed using them and trowing them out. The pads from the hospital were good too, and even though they did not stay well, I also wasn't moving much and they were free and I was in the hospital anyway, so it didn't make a big deal to me. I even took a bunch of both home and used them until I ran out. Regular underwear was annoying to put back on, but the purple overnight Always pads came in handy after I ran out. But, back to the Depends. One thing no one tells you is that after birth, you may have some problems holding in your.....bowels. Most of the time you will be able to make it, especially if you are close to the bathroom. But, sometimes and some days will be tougher. Having them handy, especially on the bad days, is a life saver. They are so uncomfortable and annoying (I felt like a newborn wearing a pull-up), but what you need when your stomach is trying to get back to normal and everything is shifting back into place (now that there is no one taking up most of the space).

3. Medela Pump. Whatever pump you get will be great. A lot of people love the Spectra and the Bellababy, or the Haakaa Manual Pump, but every person is different. I have very small nipples and need small flanges. This is a hard thing to find out before hand unless you know a lot of people with different pumps and sizes you can try. Or order a bunch and test them, but have to return them and pay for shipping. Most of you will not have a problem, but Medela was the only one that went down to 21mm. I also read a lot of reviews and posts in pumping groups on Facebook and learned that a lot of people love different pumps, but also love or use Medela parts (apparently they are better quality). I understand that the different settings and comfort of some pumps may be better, but I did not have the time or energy to figure out which parts to use with what pump, so I got the one that has the parts to begin with. I only use it at most once a day anyway. And I love that it came with a bag and a battery pack, which was also highly recommended to me. Next time, I may try a different one. Or, if you have to exclusively pump (EP), you may want to see what is better for long term (this one or something else), but I love mine and it is perfect for me. Below is a guide I found online that may help you find the best one for you.

1. Spectra S1 & S2	Best Electric Breast Pump	4.75
2. Medela Freestyle	Best Hands Free Pump	4
3. BelleMa Double Electric	Best for Working Moms	4
4. Medela Pump in Style	Best for Large Breasts	4.25
5. Philips AVENT Single Electric	Best Single Electric Pump	4.25
6. Medela Harmony	Best Manual Pump	4
7. Haakaa Silicone Pump	Best Milk Catcher	4.5
8. Lansinoh Signature Pro	Most Affordable Electric Pump	4.25
9. BellaBaby Electric Pump	Best Pain Free Pump	3.75
10. Medela Sonata Smart	Best Smart App

4. Procare Wrap. Ok, so I got this for free from the hospital, but it is great. Adjustable and comfortable. While I do think it helped my stomach to shrink, it is good at helping everything get back into place (which will help you to feel better faster). It is also easy to put on, so if it starts to feel too tight, it does not take a lot to adjust it. I also like how you couldn't see it under mt clothing.

5. Motherlove Nipple Cream. If you are breastfeeding, you will quickly learn that it is easier said than done. And, it does become easier in time. But, in the beginning it is hell. Pure hell. And extremely painful. Especially your nipples. They will be dry, cracked and bleeding. And only time will heal them. But, you still have a baby to feed. That means you do not get the time needed to heal. Unless you supplement with formula (which I had to do for a few days), but getting them to latch again is very difficult and frustrating. Either way, you NEED to have nipple cream to put on after EVERY feed. I tried Geritrex Lan-O-Soothe, Lansinoh Lanolin and Motherlove and this one is by far my favorite. It is quickly absorbed and light, which makes it easy to put on. The others are thick, so I think a lot ended up on my clothes and pads. I felt I healed faster with the Motherlove and feel better quicker after feeding.

6. Mother's Milk Tea. I am not 100% sure if it works or not, because it is not something you can prove or see, but every little thing helps. Especially in the beginning. It is easier to become an over-supplier and pump and store than it is to try and increase your supply. Oatmeal is good too, as well as many other things, but the tea tastes good, has a lot of the same ingredients as Sleepytime tea (which is nice when you are on a messed up sleep schedule) and it is easy to order on Amazon (and cheaper), though also available at almost every supermarket.

7.  Swaddle Me zipper swaddle. Swaddling is hard. Especially for first time parents. Honestly, we got it down pretty quickly. Still, easy swaddles are better and yes, easier. The Velcro ones are great, but a little big. And, with both regular swaddle blankets and Velcro swaddles made me nervous because they would cover her mouth in time. Now, newborns breathe through their nose, but I didn't like it and was scared it would cover her nose in time. Maybe I was over-thinking, or maybe she was just really small, but the zipper one fit her perfect (they go as small as newborn which a lot do not),  and it was the easiest to do while her arms are moving. It is also stretchy, which allows her to move them still and not break free (which she is a master of). It will be a life saver. Trust me.

8. Burt's Bees Burp Cloths, All burp cloths are great. There are none that don't work. I love the ones that are shaped to fit perfectly on your shoulder. And the blankets from the hospital work great to have around for massive spit up that gets everywhere, or to cover yourself when burping (because stuff always comes up). But the Burt's Bees ones are soft and small and easy to keep anywhere. I can shove it in a back pocket, the side of the car seat when we take it out of the car and go into a store or somewhere quick. She even loves to hold it (kind of like a blanket) while feeding. I have also used it when she was in the carrier (the one that you wear) to cover my shirt in case she spits up while we are walking. The softness is a bonus and perfect for their gentile skin.

9. Aquaphor. For your everyday (or every hour) diaper change, we use Baby Vaseline. But, in the beginning, we had a bunch of free samples of diapers that we used to see which ones we liked the best. This did cause a little diaper rash. Luckily, we had Baby Aquaphor ready to go, knowing we would need it at some point or another. It cleared up in 2 days, and has yet to come back. We know which diapers we like and she has not irritation. But, it is handy and ready to go if we need it again. One should be enough to start. You can always get more if you need it. And there are always coupons.

10. Pampers and Honest Diapers. We tried many different types of diapers (as I said before). As first time parents, we were unsure which ones we would like, or which ones would work best for our little one. We did not have a big opinion about most (like Up and Up or Huggies), but there were some we really like and really hated. The worst were Seventh Generation and Parasol. We had awful leaks with both and they just never seemed to fit right. Our favorites were Pampers and Honest. They both fit great and never had a leak or blow out problem. The only thing we liked better about Pampers are the wet lines. There is one in the front for pee and one in the back for poop. Very helpful and prevents you from having to put your nose to their butt to find out if they pooped or farted. Keep in mind, each baby is different (and diapers will fit differently), but if you need a place to start (and you don't have a bunch of free samples), I would get a pack of each to try. Stocking up is great, but unless you know what you need, you can end up with a bunch of diapers you can't use. If this is something you need to do, SAVE RECEIPTS!!! We also used newborn diapers for a month, but some never use them at all, so it is hard to predict what you will need. Plus, there is Amazon. I love Amazon. Can you tell??

11. Mam. You haven't heard of Mam? It is not as popular as Dr. Browns and Avent, but that doesnt mean you should ignore it when looking at bottles. And pacifiers. Both of those are great. We even use the Avent ones sometimes, and may more later, but Mam has been the best. Early on, we had to supplement with formula, even though I didn't really want to. I was in so much pain, I could not handle feeding as often as she wanted to eat. At first, it was fine. But, then she got nipple confusion. It took work and 2 days to get her to re-latch. We were scared to introduce another bottle for fear that we would have to stop breastfeeding all together. Then, we gave in and tried a pacifier. Again, a re-latch problem. Not as bad, but we stopped that too. And she hated it. So we tried different pacifier nipples. The fourth one we tried was Mam. And no re-latch problem. Not after the first day, second, third....ever. We love it, and she was happy to have her paci back. So, we tried the bottle with some pumped milk. No re-latch problem. And we love that it can be sterilized by itself in the microwave. Easy cleaning for when we travel. Remember, each baby is different. And so is every boob. So, this may not work for you, but I have had a lot of other breastfeeding moms say the same thing. You cannot choose your child's bottle. They will choose it, so options are great. Two of a few different kinds is good until you know which one you need to have, but Mam should definitely be one of them.

12. Little Remedies Gas Drops. This product works fast and lasts. The only thing I wish is that I had known to buy this before she was born. We were told to get it from our Pediatrician when we asked about her poop. We went and got it right away. We probably didn't use it for at least a week, but one night, when the crying wouldn't stop, we gave it a try. She stopped crying within minutes and fell asleep a half hour later. Now, we have several of them. Always on hand and ready to go for when she needs it. Who knew gas could be such a problem until you hear the awful screams. This will be the best thing you ever buy!!!